I am sorry for who I am.
I've lived a lie all along. A life which every day went a step away from the truth. A reality that none of my friends, family or relatives will approve of. And just for the sake of getting approval from my parents, relatives, friends and society I live this lie. I kill my happiness, my self-belief every day except for the few hours when I am behind closed doors. Behind the closed doors, I can be myself; I can open up to the person who is carrying the same guilt as me, who is also living a lie every day. But those few hours we can be happy, we can be in love, we can be ourselves, or as the society may call it, we can be gay.
Oh yes! I am gay! I am a disgust to the society, I should be jailed or better off even killed, and yes I am untouchable too. Also, I am the butt of all the jokes. I have no right to speak my mind, look at people who are or were my classmates, colleagues or even acquaintances without getting looks of disgust.I am not a human anymore, and my mere existence is a crime. And why is it so? Just because I chose to love someone who is of the same sex. But who are you to judge me? Who are you to tell me whom I should love? Why is this your problem? Ohh yes! Because we live in India, a free country which also happens to be world's biggest democracy and the only issue that our government is facing is what we do inside the privacy of our closed doors.
Of course! After all, all the other problems like corruption, female foeticide, rapes, and farmer suicides have all been completely solved and now the only issue that our government is left with is to decide whom should we love and whom we shouldn’t. And of course, I am wrong that I chose to love a person from the same sex when loving someone from the opposite sex but from another cast or religion is illegal and also leads to honor killing in most places. We live in a country where we have a separate god for love and sex and our early works of religion consists of a book depicting and teaching various ways of sex. The earliest of our Vedas have described same-sex relationships and definitely not as a crime. So it is obviously unnatural to succumb to your emotions and feelings and fall in love. I was weak enough to have feelings and not trained enough to be a robot without emotions. And I am sorry for that too.
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