Pitaji Se Charcha : Doubts!
My Dad and I, share a very particular relation. Like every other family in the country, we do not see eye to eye. And this has continued since I hit my teens. To quote my dad on the topic, 'Every son who reaches his father's height, thinks he is better than him'. And the situation gets weirder every single day. And when a wicked sense of humour runs in your blood, you can simply not ignore the funny side of this weirdness. Here is one such conversation:
I was sitting in my spot with my laptop (yes, like Dr. Sheldon Cooper I have my spot too, but I am not weirdly obsessive about it), and my dad walked in and made the same grumpy face where he looks like a 90-year-old disapproving grandma with raised eyebrows. I am accustomed to that. Intuiting the possible taunts to be thrown at me, I searched for my headphones but I was too slow.
Dad: Which movie did you watch for the umpteenth time today?
Me: It's a live stream football match, Dad!
Dad: So what! How many times did you watch it?
Me: Dad, it's a LIVE match!
Dad: Okay! Watch it later on and tell me who is Tanmay Bhatt?
Me: rolling my eyes He is a standup comedian!
Dad: What does that mean?
Me: A standup comedian is someone who goes onto the stage and entertains a live audience by cracking jokes. He even had a TV show recently where he dealt with Social issues with satire.
Dad: What is satire?
Me: Why God! Why! It is a type of comedy where you make fun of serious issues to give a hidden message, just like that movie 'Oh My God!' did. Shit! Why did I do that?
Dad: That movie is a disgrace to our culture. They have no respect for our religion, our gods, and our beliefs. They made fun of Sri Sri. They have no respect for the Holy.
Me: Dad we have done this n number of times. Not today, please!
Dad: See, even you have become an atheist watching all these movies. God save my son.
Me: Please cut the melodrama. Of all people, you should be the last person to react to OMG! You were a follower of Asaram Bapu after all. Bingo! Strike 1
Dad: Don't take his name! He's a fucking cheat! He should be beaten to death! getting furious
Me: Okay! Calm down. He is in jail anyway. Also, he is already rich with all the lifetime magazine subscriptions you got from his ashram. Why don't I see those magazines anymore? Strike 2
Dad: Okay, I made a mistake. Can you stop it now?
Me: So at least now you understand not to believe in stupid godmen and 'donating' money without thinking. Or are you thinking of subscribing to Patanjali products next?
Dad: Is this the way to talk to your father. It's all because of the phone and the internet. Anyway, you continue with your match, I will go to the temple now.
Me (rolls eyes): Sure!
Dad: I gave the temple 10 grand for the new construction. Home Run