“My parents have expectations from me.” “What if my parents find out?” “I don’t wanna lie to them.” “I can’t disappoint them.”

Sex education in our society is simple. Sex? NO!!
Why must our sexuality be subjected to the scrutiny of the society? And even so, why must it be demonized? Why must we be guilty of our sexuality?

Guilt is a function of empathy. Comes from, us, comparing our fortunes with the misfortunes or the lack of fortunes of another. Guilt helps, keep us in check, and stops us from hurting people around us. It’s like a moral-spidey-sense, that activates every time you’re gonna fuck up.

Sexuality is a function of desire, of pleasure, or just the mere pursuit of it. It’s a form of expression, as much as it is a form of being. From opening yourself( be it your body, your thoughts, your desires) onto someone, being vulnerable to someone, expressing your love for someone with your physicality; to just a bodily desire and the satisfaction of it, with two wild bodies, touching one another just to explore, to express and to feel bliss and transcendence for those few moments.

A look into Patriarchy

Saying it doesn’t hurt anyone would be biased and wrong. But in its defence, the mere act of it has no sense of hurting anybody, but to attain pleasure. It’s the peripherals around it; that might. Be it expectations, lies, infidelity.

Although, as a pure concept; it seems rather illogical to feel guilty about something that has the potential to be so beautiful.

That’s where we acquaint the concept of patriarchy and the behaviours it brings with it. As a topic, patriarchy can be discussed in depth and length, but that’s for another time. With this piece, let’s concentrate on its relationship with guilt.

In exploring Patriarchy, we find that two of its most successful sources are:

Real Estate: Meaning, the concept of country and patriotism,

Imaginary Friends: The concept of religion and big powerful people in the sky.

A discussion on both the topics in depth will be shelved for another day. Moving on;

While real estate has very little to do with sexual guilt, and more to do with justifying murder and blood lust (Later. Shut up), the imaginary friends section comes with the inherent want to take desires that are integral to the human condition and demonizing them. (From having sexual desires for someone of the same sex, to masturbating, to even having sex before or outside of marriage, which in itself is a flawed concept that holds relevance with the relics of the civilisations past). Thus, inflicting guilt on to everyone who follows it.

Polytheistic Mythology

Polytheistic religions have been known to explore sexuality, in their mythology, at least. Varied examples throughout the globe, include, Krishna having multiple affairs, finding love outside of marriage, being a womanizer, Zeus impregnating mortals in the goofiest ways, taking role play in the bedroom to another level (He once turned into a swan to commit rape, once a cow to seduce a woman, and once straight up turned into rain of potent fluid, that fell right onto a dame’s vagina). Besides them, almost all major ancient religions have a God that handles the sexuality department.
Zeus Impregnating Leda

The Aztec for instance had four gods governing various aspects of sexuality, namely, Tiacapan, Teicu, Tlaco and Xocotzin handling sexual passion, appetite, longing, desire respectively. The Chinese had a god overseeing homosexual desires, named Tu Er Shen. The Egyptians had different gods for sexual pleasures and reproduction, Bes and Min.
As a poetic contrast, Monotheistic religions have had a rather sour relationship with this concept. While the reasons behind such philosophies can be deduced in as many ways, as there are people, here’s one take on it.

Monotheistic Philosophy The main aim of most modern monotheistic religions has been to grow, in numbers, in influence and in power. Through the inherent guilt implanted in one’s mind, the subject is programmed to seek forgiveness for their sins by going to the same place of worship, through following rituals set by said place, by following rules set by said place.
Had it just ended at that, it could be waived off as a recreational activity people do to keep sane. But it doesn’t. Coerced exploitation guilts subjects into donating to these places, in the hopes of washing off their sins. {The implications of this logic are to be simply put, morbid. Discussion Pending. Yeah, I know. Such a tease} Thus, gradually, fulfilling, the above mentioned “main aim”.

Having been taught of sexual desires and acts to be heinous and wrong, even blasphemous; people are often riddled with guilt and self-hate, for thoughts and desires that are as natural as the grass below their feet. Why?
Why must our most natural bodily desires be a reason for shame? Why isn’t this a topic we talk about in public? Why is pleasuring one's body, something, that society and eerily, the person themselves feel unacceptable?

Maybe guilt isn’t all that good after all then.
Maybe it’s just a tool, that system has used since the dawn of civilisation to control the masses, for them to behave a way deemed correct by the ones in power. Maybe a guilt free life would make for a more fulfilling one.
Perhaps. But, Looking at it through either eye, be it those of an anarchist, or those of a conformist, leads to a biased and myopic view.

Inference

Guilt, like most known forces of the universe, has lighter and darker sides. While on the one hand, it can help you become a better person and learn not to hurt another, the darker side could lead you to be a slave of the predetermined patriarchal moulds of the society, robbing you of individuality and original thought.

So where does the line lie?

There is no line. There’s just a question. A question that might be instrumental in understanding the source and cause of the guilt you feel at any moment.

Is the guilt you feel internal (a function of empathy, with a deducible logic behind it), or is it a result of patriarchy (a function of unquestioned faith, and the rules arbitrarily set by the society)?

For, in the end, peace comes not from the approval of all around you, as much as it may seem that way, but from the acceptance of oneself by oneself.

Image Courtesy: http://scholar.aci.info/ - Cover
http://blistar.net/ - Zeus Impregnating Leda

https://www.instagram.com/patnaaikji/ - Sushobhan Patnaaik. Follow me. Seriously