People can be difficult at times.

Zen most of the times, they have our shit together. Strong, smart, half confident. And then they’re met with a scenario, a word, a topic, and we’re worst thing that ever happened to humanity. Cursing, being condescending, or just insufferably weak and broken down, or unimaginably rude and closed off.

They may almost come off as “Evil”.
Some humans have more triggers (words, scenarios, topics etc) than others, making them seemingly more evil that their counterparts.
So, we’re correct to be pissed. We’re correct to shun them out of our lives. We’re especially correct to totally not sleep with them because their closed-off-ness makes them oh so hot. So Hot…
. Cool… Fuck off then…


Or how about we try and explore why a person can be such an insufferable dick? What drives their dickitude, what’s the source of their dickidence, what makes their Hakunas Matata? Where the hell did Krishh 2 go? Why was Rambo 3 not called Rambo 2, given that the first two were just called Rambo: First Blood: Part 1 and 2? I digress

Understanding Humans

The first thing we must understand is that, we as humans aren’t too different from one another. All of us have evil triggers, all of us have dick moves. We just have to find our triggers to overcome them.

That brings us to our second point. The root of this kind of evil, daily evil, is pain. Repressed pain, pain not dealt with in time, crippling at times, will change you, like a slow burn, sometimes even moulds you into a completely different person.

In this article, I’m focusing on the pain we carry from our childhoods, that simply makes us a douche in certain scenarios.

Understanding Parents

Before I go any deeper into this, I’d like to point something out. Parents are but human. Yes, they may seem like gods when we were kids, for they were the providers and they were the care givers, and inversely can also seem like demons, for they are the punishers and disciplinarians. But the truth is, most of the times, they had no idea what they were doing. They have the right to fuck up, because nobody taught them how to parent. Nobody teaches it.
So don’t be too hard on them. Thank and Forgive your set of oldies. They deserve it, maybe. Or not. In which case, tell them to fuck off.

Development of Personality

Our childhood experiences, especially the ones before the age of 10 are the most formative of our personalities. It is theorized that almost 90% of our personalities are built within the first four years of our lives.
And parents fuck up from time to time. Sometimes a lot of times.

Instead of going into a long psychological studies, I’m gonna try and give you a few cases of cause and effect. That’s easier.

Cause and Effect

Say a child grows with in a family, where failure is considered a sin. It is mocked and ridiculed. The child grows up with an inherent urge to be a perfectionist, simply because imperfection is humiliation. With that, the child also gets it embedded into its psyche, that all that isn’t perfect should be the subject of humiliation.
That child grew up to be your shitty boss, or that cunt professor that kept demeaning you for every little mistake you made. See where they come from?
Say a child grew up with in a family where one parent constantly cheated on the other, or hinted at it anyway. A family where there was a dire lack of trust and serenity. The child grows up with, what can be simplistically termed as trust issues. Never being able to trust their paramour in a relationship, always being vigilant towards everyone they deal with, and constantly turning their backs on chances of love and friendship, finding themselves in a constant state of emotional flux.
That kid grew up to be your crazy ass ex.

Now What?

Here we are at a cross roads. Whether to try and understand those who give us trauma and toxicity, or to cut them out of our lives, for they quite literally, are beyond repair?

To be continued.....

Image Courtesy:

Edward Munch